Question 1

With YouTube, MeetUp groups, Discords, podcasts etc., do I really need a life coach?

Accepted Answer

You might not! But if you feel like you’re just not getting traction, lack that extra accountability, that slogging through a tsunami of Internet content is the harder, slower path, that AI advice (while not the worst) lacks those human leaps of insight that tie counterintuitive things together, that you’d benefit from the complete privacy and utility that focused-on-you sessions can bring, then it might be time for personalized assistance. Let’s chat about it! Initial phone consultations are always zero pressure (this is extremely important to me) and completely free.

Question 2

What are your qualifications and relevant life experiences?

Accepted Answer

I'm a 49 year-old personal development nerd with a degree in Interpersonal Communication (a very lasered-in applied psych field) and over 23 years of both very unsuccessful and ultimately very happy non-monogamous dating and relationships. In terms of life experiences that inform my work, here is a collection of some things that may resonate with you.
 • Proud parent of a truly amazing daughter!
 • Spent a decade on the board of the Bisexual Resource Center, a national 501(c)3 "dedicated to an empowered, visible, and inclusive global community for bi+ people."
 • I collaborate with my spouse, an award-winning trauma-informed Licensed Mental Health Counsellor who works with LGBTQIA+ and non-monogamous individuals as well. Our conversations about how to be of optimum service given the differences between clinical therapy and effective coaching are absolutely illuminating (especially as we co-lead upcoming group support (https://www.kerrypinnisicounseling.com/poly-support-signup)and create more resources)!
 • Ex born-again Christian Fundamentalist – like, I was a full-on ministry-bound seminary student – definitely a hard core Exodus story (see what I did there?).
 • Much therapy and community support has helped me heal from family trauma, bullying, depression & anxiety, PTSD, religious trauma, ADHD (well, I'm managing anyway), as well as helping me recognize the impact and harm I myself have caused. Of course, it's an ongoing process; I haven't somehow "arrived" at some enlightened state of perfection.
 • My early entrepreneurial journey involved co-founding a (BEST OF BOSTON) worker-owned & democratically run cooperative in renewable energy, and is where I gained invaluable experiences working with others, discovering my own tenacity, locating some superpowers, as well as processing some extremely tough lessons, blind spots, and more than a little hubris. 
 • I'm a former working poet and performer who had the huge privilege of listening to extremely diverse and raw human truths within the slam poetry community and “NorthBeast” spoken word scene. As an organizer, I was the Development Director for the two most well-attended National Poetry Slams to date.
 • Both my parents are gone (one from COVID, the other two years later) and I’ve lost some same-age peers, so operating life through grief (including complex grief) is familiar territory.
 • By way of lighter stuff that's made a cognitive and/or philosophical difference informing my work and life, I would specifically highlight studying and mastering languages, playing piano, practicing Tai Chi & Kung Fu, world travel, extensive blue-collar labor, and the discipline of writing.

Question 3

Who should or shouldn't work with you?

Accepted Answer

Not a Fit:
 • People who need support with significant mental health symptoms, or other issues appropriate for clinical therapy or medical treatment
 • Clients seeking “pickup artist” coaching (although we can deconstruct why their so-called techniques seem to “work” and what constitutes a healthier alternative for true dating success)
 • Individuals who aren’t ready to take accountability for how their choices affect what they’re getting out of dating and relationship(s). 
 • Anyone expecting indefinite support from a “guru;” this is a launchpad, not a landing pad.

Good Fit:
 • People exploring or practicing polyamory, ENM, or whatever type of open relationship (solo, relationship anarchy, hierarchical, etc.)
 • Bi/pan-curious, hetero-flexible, or questioning men and masc folks navigating or struggling with dating or identity
 • People of any gender developing self advocacy and boundary setting skills
 • Divorced or currently married folks reentering dating with new situations, new desires, maybe a lot of trepidation. 
 • Couples, triads, or polycules ready to talk about what they want and how to actualize it
 • People recovering from religious trauma, especially as it pertains to relationships, sexuality, and dating
 • Generally alternative thinkers, creatives, and weirdos looking for a safe and strategic place to grow

Question 4

What’s the free consultation like?

Accepted Answer

We’ll discuss your goals, potential progress milestones, what led up to the issue(s) you want to address, and how I may (or may not) be the correct fit. They tend to run about 30 minutes on average by phone or Zoom/Google Meet.

Question 5

What are sessions like (how many)? How are things structured? Can we communicate between sessions?

Accepted Answer

Everyone’s different, but it’s fair to say that most issues require more than two or three sessions for sure. During our first (50-minute) session, we’ll dial even more into what success might look like in your context, obstacles to look out for, upcoming progress indicators you can expect, and more. As for the vibe, the feedback I get is that I exude compassion and understanding while deftly keeping things on track with grace and humor. And yes, remote support between sessions is offered at an additional fee.

Question 6

Are you in-person, virtual, both? What’s the office like (accessibility, parking, vibe etc.)?

Accepted Answer

Sessions are available remotely and/or in-person if you’re local to my Harvard Square office in Cambridge, Massachusetts (served by the Red Line, buses, and Blue Bikes stations, if you’re able). Parking is notoriously difficult and can easily “go bad” and suddenly you’ve lost >15 minutes seeking a spot, so driving isn’t recommended unless you have extra time. The building is very nice except, sadly, no elevator to my 3rd floor office. If that’s not a disqualifier, once you’re upstairs, head right and there’s a quiet waiting area.

Question 7

What are your current rates?

Accepted Answer

For winter/spring of 2026, the fee is $150 for a 1:1 hour session, or $200/hour for groups of two or more. I also offer packages of 8 sessions paid in advance: for individual sessions at a rate of $125/hour ($1,000 total), and for group sessions at $175/hour ($1,400 total). Payment is due at the time of our session by cash, credit card, checks, or electronic options. Please be aware there will be a 4% fee added to any credit card transactions. For those who would like additional outside-of-session communication, there is a remote support opt-in for $30/week, which includes between-session texting, voice texting, or email (depending on your preference). I generally respond within one business day.

Question 8

Do you take health insurance?

Accepted Answer

Not for life coaching, but sometimes life coaching services like mine fall under the umbrella of “personal development” (or other similar terms) and some employers offer stipends or allowances for such things. Let me know if you require any specialized invoices or paperwork. 
For the co-led 8-week Poly / ENM 101 Support Groups,(https://www.kerrypinnisicounseling.com/poly-support-signup) invoices are available for out-of-network insurance reimbursement if this is offered by your policy.

Question 9

Your co-led "Poly / ENM 101 Support Group" -- what's that about?

Accepted Answer

My spouse, Kerry (a Licensed Mental Health Counsellor), and I co-lead 8-week-duration in-person and virtual ENM / Poly Support Groups throughout the year (Max 12 individuals @ $80 per session). The in-person series is at the Harvard Sqaure office in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and we use Zoom or Google Meet for our online series. NOTE: Invoices are available for out-of-network insurance reimbursement if this is offered by your policy. We ask that only one member of a partnership join each cohort, although other partners are welcome to join in the future!

Poly/ENM 101 topics include:
 • setting boundaries
 • jealousy
 • partner & metamour dynamics
 • family & parenting
 • attachment styles
 • relationship transitions (opening up, navigating downshifts)
 • thriving in sexuality
 • pitfalls to avoid
 • cohabiting
 • ENM Types
 • and more...
Click HERE (https://www.kerrypinnisicounseling.com/poly-support-signup)to learn more about the group, or to register for our next 8-week cohort (Thursdays, January 15th to March 5th, 7:00 to 8:30 p.m.), simply email me directly at dnsxv@proton.me.(dnsxv@proton.me.) (dnsxv@proton.me.)

ABOUT KERRY (she/they): Besides her award-winning trauma-informed private practice (https://www.kerrypinnisicounseling.com/)as an L.M.H.C. serving queer and non-monogamous individuals, conducting ketamine assisted psychotherapy sessions, as well as offering EMDR therapy as well, Kerry has run multiple groups on topics such as assertive communication & consent, trauma, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and others.

Question 10

Can you help with other topics besides ENM, dating success, and relationship communication?

Accepted Answer

Yes, I can also help with:
 • Bi/pan sexuality and questions of identity
 • Emotional literacy and general communication
 • Moving forward despite religious trauma
 • Procrastination and/or executive functioning
 • Digital detox, gaining more inner peace
 • Career, dreams, entrepreneurship, leadership
 • Finding life purpose

Question 11

Why “The Devil’s New Shoes?”

Accepted Answer

Welcome to my TedTalk (a bit of a long answer here)! There are four critical attributes to The Devil card in Tarot (major arcana number XV) that dovetail specifically with my calling to serve community through coaching. 
First, The Devil is a Call To Healing. As a former and deeply-involved member of the (sadly now enormously powerful) sect of Christianity known as evangelical or fundamentalist, I experienced how the concept of The Devil was wielded as a scare tactic to control people. Metabolizing major religious trauma was very hard (leaving the fold was far from liberation and bliss), but I learned that healing from trauma and moving forward is possible. We can don new shoes and walk with fresh confidence, better outlooks, lasting healing, personal stability, and ultimately genuine love (even in an insane world). It’s never too late. What unchallenged sacred cows or devils have hurt you and kept you from your best life?

In that healing, The Devil is a Call To Discernment : to openly question and evaluate morality, ethics, purpose, handed-down beliefs, ideas about what we’re “supposed” to do, how to treat others (including those we think of as “bad” or problematic), even questioning how we question – it’s all a powerful recipe for spotting false and real devils. Maybe the majority of people are wrong! Maybe I’m wrong! Questioning is a habit, a process, a way of being, and an integral part of the coaching process that ultimately leads to discernment. How can we locate and interrogate assumptions about life, ourselves, and others in a way that encourages lasting healthy changes?

Third, and by consequence, The Devil is a Call To Courage. Walking a controversial path that others consider questionable, or possibly outright dangerous and evil, is reallyfuckinghard. Especially when risking judgement from friends, family, colleagues, or even our own intimate partners. Maybe you yourself used to view certain things as reprehensible until recently. Maybe you’re scared to make certain stands (totally understandable)! It takes gumption to face strong internal discomfort while the outside world brands us with a Scarlet D, especially given today’s political realities. Where (and why) do you find your bravery and fortitude flagging, and how might it be bolstered?

Finally, and most importantly, The Devil is a Call To Humility. Sadly, we won’t travel far without one tragic prophecy fulfilled: We will be the villain in someone else’s story (this is sadly part of my own story). We will disappoint others or even wound someone very badly (and by extension harm ourselves and the very communities we love). Trust can be stretched or broken. And when this happens (not if), we must reckon with it before out-of-control shame spirals block our ability to be the best people we can be. The Devil is a call to take a beat before acting in order to ask, “Hey, could I, in fact, be The Devil here?”  (AITD?) Cultivated humility is a check against our capacity for self-deception that often precedes destructive behavior. How can we nourish humility while shedding shame (and recognize the difference between the two)?

Question 12

You use Tarot cards? Shine on, fellow Lightworker / Pound sand, you fruitcake!

Accepted Answer

The way I use Tarot (if we decide to) is as a life coaching tool chock full of psychological archetypes and broad cultural symbology that often leads to realizations that aren’t as possible (or wouldn’t have come as quickly) through talking over problems ad nauseam. I glommed onto Tarot as a kid, then again in 2020 when I began reading for friends and eventually total strangers who reported that it was an invaluable process for big ticket life decisions. It’s not fortune telling, divination, a “psychic reading” or anything like that – it’s a co-directed participatory process utilizing a well-phrased question and then “pushing” that question through the imagery of the cards together. A good reading feels like magic, but it’s really just a clever catalyst for insight via creativity, curiosity and play. Is it a total gimmick? Absolutely, but maybe so is art? For many, it’s a very helpful process that’s also super fun and interesting!

The Devil's New Shoes

Artisanal Life Design